November Challenge – 2018
December 1st came and went. Successfully! As days usually do. We have yet to have an apocalypse at any point my anxiety and/or temper tantrums (lets get real… sometimes it’s both at the same time. Full on melt downs.) have gone off the rails. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s get back on track here shall we?
December 1st was the end of the Girls Got Goals Challenge. I had the big goal at the very end set. What did I do to myself? Yeah, Be under 200 pounds by December 1st. So here goes, you are about to get a quick glance into my dialogue and boy was it a doozy!
See What Had Happened Was…
My eyes popped open at 6 am, my body felt late to work. Yeah, I don’t get this phenomenon, but it seems to happen every off day I have. Jumping up with that “LATE AF” panic, I grab my phone to call whatever opening manager is there to tell them I’m on my way… in about an hour. I literally just jumped out of bed and hit the button to make it light up.
There’s the date… Saturday, December 1, 2018. First reaction was happy. Oh great! I’m not late. It’s Saturday, I’m off. Phew! Dodged that crazy bullet right there. I lay back down, my dog groans and then jumps all over me for love and attention. You got it pup! I’m here all day long!
Then it hits me like a ton of bricks. I have to get on the scale today. Much like King Théoden on the Helms Deep wall I looked out into my still dark room and said aloud “So it begins…” The Orcs of dread and Uruk-hai of fear and doubt begin to attack! They have cave trolls battering me with emotions. How does one battle that?
Here ya go.. this is how I did it… this is how I got from my feeling of impending doom to my moment of “Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath… now for ruin and the red dawn! On Eorlingas!” (I’d like to say I won’t quote movies from now on, but really… my brain is full of movie and lyrics. It’s how I speak in real life, it’s how I type to you my friends. My bad.) And here is the battle.
The Battle Begins
Sloth: You set that bar real high. How are you going to get on that scale today?
Me: It’s fine. It’s fine. I’ve worked really hard.
Sloth: Yeah, that’s nice but you know you had days that you didn’t and umm… how did you do on the gym goal? Did you go more? Less? Yeah, how are you feelin’ now?
Me: Silent… Oh no… am I agreeing with the Sloth?
Sloth: You set it too high. You set yourself up for failure! You did it to yourself! Under two hundred pounds? So you set yourself to loose 13 pounds in one month? HA! Just HA! It will not work. Nope, it will not happen. It did not happen, did not work!
At this point I pulled my blankie up and pet my dog for a few minutes before getting up with the resolve that the Sloth was not winning this. If I made it GREAT! If I didn’t, okay. I came close. I know I came close because guess what, I was 202 last time I got on a scale. It will be okay.
If I didn’t make the goal that just means I set a new goal and work towards it! Maybe the next time I’ll be Eowyn battling the Witch King screaming “I am no man!” and stabbing at the scale with my shiney shiney sword. I can do this. Get on that scale girl! You can do it!
Victory!
So I went in and took off my hoody. Stepped up on the scale and boom…. 198.2 pounds. YES! Victorious! The ghost army of feeling scared and doing it anyway screeching threw the battle fields and defeating the negative thought armies! I win. Not because I hit my goal. That’s great. But because I got on the scale when the voices in my head were telling me that I couldn’t or I failed. I fought against them and went against my fear and jumped up on the scale.
Stepping on the scale silenced the sloth for the day. I spent the rest of the day ignoring goals. My kid and I hung out all day long. In fact, I took her to rescue a dog. It was an amazing day.
Sloth vs. Scale
So why does the sloth have an aversion to weighing?
Simple answer, I did a lot of damage to my body as a teenager and a young adult. Forcing myself to purge food. Over exercise. Diet pills. Laxatives. you name it I did it to myself. I weighed every day. Got on that scale at least four times a day. Scolding myself for weighing too much when looking back, I was super thin.
I’m a little worried that if I get into the habit of jumping on the scale every five seconds then I will get back into those habits. It’s just fear. I hate getting on the scale to this day.
However when I wasn’t getting on it at all, I was binging to the point I became obese. So I think this little blurb is gonna go back to mindset and getting it healthy. If you aren’t thinking right then how can you possibly be healthy?
If you have some severe dieting measures, get to your doctor and get yourself help right now. It’s unhealthy. It will do irreversible damage to your organs, your body, and your mind. Get help. Don’t delay. Do it.
There is a part of me that feels that if I get in the habit of weighing, I will slip into bad habits. Is that a reality? Probably not. I have much healthier habits and mindset now. But I still have that fear. Until I defeat that, I can’t get on the scale every day.
Is there a right way?
So what is the set in stone scale regimen?
The short answer, there isn’t one. Some say to take your weight three times a day and average your numbers together to get your true weight. Others say take your weight at the same time every single day. That will let you know how your high and lows go. They say that your weight doesn’t matter at all you must only use measurements. Further still (can you hear the sloth sigh? I can) others believe that you need to weigh every day at the same time but not accepting the weight until it is steady for more than three days.
What is right for you?
That’s up to you. Does your weight motivate you? Is weighing and measuring useful to you? Does it make you feel good?
Because if it doesn’t make you feel motivated? Does it quiet your inner sloth, then don’t do it. If you feel comfortable getting on the scale a billion times a day without negative feels, do it!
Figure out what is right for you. Then do that. You have to figure out how and what works for you. There is no magic book that’s going to tell you the one true and right way for you. It’s going to take maximum effort for you. Sorry! That’s the only answer I have for you.
Your sloth will always be there. If it’s loud enough, that voice can throw you for a loop. You have to be stronger than your inner voice, tell your slothy side to shh and move on. I have faith in you! I have faith in me! Yay us!
Until next time, thanks for sitting threw my mind babble. I’ll see you next time.
Be kind to yourself and others.
Beck
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Hello and thank you for this article. I had a really nice time reading it. Your writing style is so funny I love it. As for the famous question my answer is to way.:) But I am a guy of course. I am sure girls think about their weight more about guys. Prove me if I am wrong please.
I think that we should be honest about ourselves no matter what. Most of the time this is difficult but it is better to know where your are right now than to fool yourself with false claims.
I think that real change can only come with accepting who you are completely and then, taking the steps to overcome or change your current state.
Strahinja
I’m glad you enjoy reading what I write. I tend to talk as if I’m just having a conversation with friends. Which you all are. It’s interesting that you are in the weigh camp. Do you track it daily? Weekly? What information does it help you with? Is it a motivator? Interested in your journey.
Beck
Hi Beck!
Thanks for weighing on this topic— a pertinent one for many for sure. I like how used the metaphor of a sloth to symbolize the inner negative voice everyone has. For me personally, I could never gain the right amount of weight and keep it on.
Since I’ve started body building I’ve been putting more effort into getting more calories so I get more muscle gains and keep those gains. Whenever I slip a little bit it becomes a domino effect and I lose my weight/gains exponentially. It can become frustrating and therefore tempting to continue to get on the scale everyday. I find to keep my sloth quiet is to weigh myself only a few times a week instead of daily. So far I’m getting back on track to preferred body weight and showing no signs of letting up!
—-Francesco
Great job Francesco! Keep up the great work! I have long conversations with that inner Sloth of mine, it helps me to keep motivated. 😉 Keep up the great work!
Beck
Thanks for this post Beck. It all sounds very familiar to my kind of day. I am on this kind of challenge from time to time. I know how it feels after trying your best to keep to the diet eating the right food and staying away from dangerous food. Then I also have to do all the necessary exercises for a certain amount of weeks or months. Checking my weight after all that certainly sounds like your day! Well done for making it! Keep up the good work!
Juliet, Thank you! I hope you are doing well with your challenges. The hard work does pay off. Sometimes I see the pay off in little things, other times the scale blesses me with a beautiful number! I hope the way you track successes are being kind to you.
Beck